We recently discovered (as of August 2021) that the gravestone of Daniel H. Otis was reset in the wrong spot in 1997. I write the following not to accuse anyone of anything, but to show the facts and the truth of the matter at hand. Please read everything, even the captions to the photos. If the reader skips right to video and pictures, they will not get the full weight of the matter. The evidence here, speaks for itself...
Note: I changed a certain individual's name and used gender-neutral pronouns for them.
Daniel H. Otis was buried in Maromas Cemetery on Sunday, February 8, 1862 (per "Record of the Returns Made by Sextons of Cemeteries;" aka: "Middletown Burial Lists"). Daniel's gravestone is a marble, tablet-style marker approximately 5-feet in height (from top to bottom) and 2-feet wide. It has a matching brownstone, keystone-base with a slot for the gravestone to be set into (aka: slotted base). The gravestone is engraved with flags and insignia, and was privately-commissioned by the family through T.C. Canfield of Middletown, Connecticut. Canfield manufactured Italian and American Marble, and brownstone monuments. Daniel also has a matching footstone of white marble with the initials “D.H.O” engraved into it. The footstone is about 22-inches in height (from top to bottom) and 10-inches wide. The footstone is also a tablet-style marker, but is set directly into the ground with no matching base.
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| Advertisement for T.C. Canfield December 31, 1862 |
At some point, the gravestone of Daniel H. Otis fell backwards to the ground. The bottom of Daniel’s gravestone was broken and jagged from where it broke loose from its brownstone base. In 1997, Daniel’s gravestone was restored to its former glory. It was cleaned and reset in its upright position by the person I will call “SO-AND-SO” (whose statements to me, via snail-mail letter, are highlighted in red).
Both my husband and I have training in historic cemetery restoration and cleaning. We have restored and cleaned all four Otis graves at Maromas Cemetery, and it was our privilege and honor to do so!
In 2019, (when my family and I moved to Middletown) I found Daniel’s gravestone in the space it has occupied since 1997. Yet, I found his footstone set in the ground three plots down to the right at what we then thought was his baby nephew, Lewie Otis’, burial site. Lewie died when he was 1 ½ years old, and has a tiny gravestone befitting his size. Lewie’s gravestone was facing backwards and held up by two large rocks—it wasn’t even set into a base, or the ground! I found Lewie’s footstone chucked on to the stone-wall that runs along the side of the cemetery.
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| Photo from 1997. Here, Daniel's gravestone is at the "1997 reset site," and his footstone is within the red circle. Notice where his gravestone is in relation to his footstone. They should be together! The footstone is three plots down to the right, set into the ground, at its original location. Photo source: the book, "A Noble and Glorious Cause." |
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| 2017 photo by John Banks. Again, Daniel's gravestone is at the "1997 reset site," Notice where Daniel's footstone is in relation to his gravestone. They should be together! Also, notice nephew, Lewie Otis' gravestone, set backwards, held up with two rocks, all willy-nilly. Lewie's gravestone is propped up at the same plot where Daniel's footstone is set into the ground! |
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| Gravestone of Lewie Otis. Facing backwards, and held in place with two rocks. The gravestone wasn't even set into a base, or the ground! Photo from 2019. |
Eventually, we moved Daniel’s footstone, setting it with his gravestone, and then placed Lewie’s footstone in that spot. Now Daniel’s footstone was with Daniel’s gravestone, and Lewie’s footstone was with Lewie’s gravestone, and all was right. Or so we thought…
Fast-forward to August 15, 2021, when we began restoring Lewie Otis’ gravestone. We started digging at the front of Lewie’s burial site to locate the tiny base for his tiny gravestone, when to our surprise, we uncovered an adult-sized base instead! Within the slot of that adult-sized base, were the remnant chunks of a marble gravestone! We carefully lifted the large chunks of gravestone pieces out of the slot of the base and found two corner pieces (a right and a left) and two middle pieces, and one other little piece, for a total of five pieces. Each one of the corner pieces fit together with one of the middle pieces, forming the broken bottom of a gravestone.
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The five remnant pieces we carefully removed from
the adult-sized base: |
Then a sinking feeling came over me, and I remembered that when I came to Middletown in 2019, I found Daniel’s footstone at that burial site—the site we thought was Lewie’s burial site. I also remembered that Lewie’s footstone was chucked on the wall like trash, and that his gravestone was propped up at the spot backwards, all willy-nilly.
When we found the adult-sized base we knew that was not Lewie’s burial site. However, we knew Lewie had to be close by, so we checked one plot over to the right, and uncovered a tiny, child-sized base, buried beneath the ground. Lewie’s gravestone fit perfectly in the base.
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| Lewie Otis' tiny, child-sized base. This was only the top portion of the base. We had to dig further down to locate the larger, bottom portion of the base. Photo from August 15, 2021 |
We knew that the Hale Cemetery records (compiled 1932-1935) list no other persons buried between Erastus Otis and his son Daniel Otis, or Lewie Otis for that matter. So the adult-sized base we just uncovered could not have belonged to a “mystery person” whose entire gravestone disappeared too. Since this is the same burial site that I found Daniel Otis’ footstone at in 2019—we wondered if somehow, some way, there was a mistake made during the resetting of his gravestone back in 1997 by the company “SO-AND-SO” hired. From experience, we also knew that whoever reset Daniel’s gravestone back in 1997, did not use a base.
Throughout the years, Daniel’s gravestone slowly began tilting backwards. As of August 2021 it was tilting approximately 10-degrees backwards. We’ve been keeping an eye on it and were going to straighten it next season anyway. But with these new circumstances, we decided to do it immediately— and while we were at it, we’d check to see if the broken gravestone chunks were a match to the bottom of Daniel’s gravestone. As previously mentioned, I knew the bottom of Daniel’s gravestone was broken and jagged from whenever it had toppled backwards to the ground. When “SO-AND-SO” and I had corresponded in December 2020, they kindly sent me a picture of Daniel’s fallen gravestone which showed that to be the case (In return, I also kindly sent "SO-AND-SO" some pictures of our restoration work at Maromas Cemetery, but after that I never heard from them again).
On Tuesday, August 17, 2021, we removed Daniel Otis' gravestone from the space it has occupied since 1997. We found no base at that site. Every one of these privately-commissioned, tablet-style gravestones that we have repaired, have had a base to go with it. Even if a gravestone has toppled over and is no longer sitting in its base—we have always found a base at the site. During restoration, there are a number of reasons why a historic gravestone can no longer be reset in its base. If that is the case, conservationists aren't in the habit of destroying or discarding a base (at least the ones we were trained by aren't). The base is kept at the site—whether it is re-buried or otherwise. So, to find no base at the site Daniel’s gravestone was set at in 1997 was highly unusual and suspect. At that point, we were pretty positive the remnant chunks of marble gravestone were going to be a match to the bottom of Daniel Otis’ gravestone.
And match they did! The remnant chunks of marble gravestone matched up perfectly with the jagged, broken edges at the bottom of Daniel Otis’ gravestone. They fit perfectly like puzzle pieces!
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| Close-up of the jagged, broken bottom of Daniel Otis' gravestone where it had broken loose from its base. Now watch and see how the remnant chunks of marble gravestone match up perfectly to these jagged, broken edges! Photo from August 17, 2021 |
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| Gravestone of Daniel H. Otis, with its jagged, broken bottom. Photo from August 17, 2021 |
Video and Pictures
Now watch how the broken gravestone-pieces match up to the jagged, broken edges of Daniel Otis' gravestone. All photos and video to follow are from August 17, 2021. Video has sound.
It’s like a puzzle, and also unique, like a fingerprint. There are is only ONE gravestone that these pieces will match-up to, and they matched-up to the gravestone of Daniel H. Otis.
In case the video isn't working for whatever cyber-reason, here are pictures too:
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Left corner piece matches up to the left side of Daniel’s
gravestone. |
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The center piece matches the left corner piece, |
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Right corner piece matches up to the right side of Daniel’s
gravestone. |
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Another center piece that matches the right corner piece,
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Therefore, the spot where the gravestone of Daniel H. Otis was reset in 1997, was not his burial site. There was literally no-body at that spot. Daniel’s remains were three plots down to the right, where, in 2019, I had found his footstone set into the ground, and where his nephew, Lewie’s, gravestone was mistakenly propped-up at some point, and where we just recently uncovered an adult-sized base with broken chunks of gravestone pieces still embedded in the slot. These are the same pieces seen above in the video and pictures, and they match-up to the bottom of Daniel's broken and jagged gravestone!
What is also interesting, and worth mentioning, is when we started digging at Lewie Otis’ old site (where the adult-sized base was found, and what we now know is Daniel Otis’ original burial site) we uncovered tons of clay-pot shards. We also uncovered clay-pot shards at Lewie’s original burial site. Someone at one point, cared for them both, and brought tokens to their grave. Yet, the "1997 reset sight" was sterile. Nothing was found there, because there was literally no-body there.
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| Daniel’s gravestone being removed from the “1997 reset site” to straighten out his tilting gravestone, and to check the broken bottom edge of the gravestone for a match. We use a half-ton hoist and tripod to lift these extremely heavy stones. |
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| There was NO brownstone base found at the "1997 reset site," only a mound of gravel! Whatever company reset Daniel’s gravestone in 1997, did so with a bunch of gravel, only. We were taught to use a mixture of native dirt, sand, and gravel—lightly wetting each layer and compacting it down for strength and support. |
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Daniel’s gravestone back at his burial site. Notice the adult-sized base that we uncovered at the burial site! Within the slot of this same base is where we found those remnant chunks of marble gravestone, which were a perfect match to the jagged bottom edge of Daniel’s gravestone! See pictures and video above. |
The Frank Starr Plot Numbers: Even More Proof!
My friend and cemetery restoration partner, Melaine Butler Smigel, who was there when we uncovered the adult-sized base with the remnant gravestone chunks embedded within its slot, and who has many ancestors buried in Maromas Cemetery, added to the proof that we uncovered Daniel Otis' correct burial plot. Melaine has been going through all the plots at Maromas Cemetery and organizing them on paper. She has done a superb job of combining the information from the Hale Cemetery Records (compiled 1932-1935), the burial list that August De France created and supplied, along with the plot numbers that eminent Middletown genealogist, Frank F. Starr, had assigned in the 1870's. If Frank Starr said these were the plot numbers, then these were the plot numbers. (Note: Melaine’s father had the “Frank Starr Plot Numbers” in his genealogical records. Frank Starr was the younger brother of Private William E. Starr, who was in Co. B with Daniel Otis. Both Frank and William Starr were the sons of Elihu W.N. Starr. A picture of a young Frank Starr can be seen on my page HERE under Capt. Elijah Gibbons' muster roll. Just scroll down to the name "William E. Starr.")
Melaine discovered that Frank Starr had assigned the Otis family members the following numbers:
#36—Elizabeth M. Otis (died: April 3, 1856)
#37—Erastus S. Otis (died August 4, 1864)
#41—Daniel H. Otis (died December 17, 1862)
#42—Lewie Otis (died January 17, 1866)
Also, the Otis family (from left to right) is buried as such. The Hale Cemetery Records also listed them as such, with nobody else buried among, or between, them:
Elizabeth M. Otis (#36), Erastus S. Otis (#37), Daniel H. Otis (#41), Lewie Otis (#42)
Yet, Frank Starr’s numbers skip from #37—Erastus S. Otis…to… #41—Daniel H. Otis.
What happened to #38, #39, and #40?
Well, those numbers are empty plots between Erastus Otis and Daniel Otis. And one of those empty plots (#38) is where Daniel’s gravestone had been standing for over 20 years when it was re-set there in 1997 by “SO-AND-SO!”
If there was a surviving plot plan for Maromas Cemetery (which there isn't), the Otis plots would look like this:
#36—Elizabeth M. Otis
#37—Erastus S. Otis
#38—empty (This plot is where "SO-AND-SO" had Daniel's gravestone reset in 1997. If Erastus Otis would have lived, his second wife, Amanda Otis, would have been buried here, beside him, but she remarried, and is buried elsewhere. This plot would never have been given to Daniel Otis, as marital partners were buried beside each other. Their children were not usually buried between them!)
#39—empty (The remainder of these four plots: #39 thru #42, were for their four children! Robert Otis, William Otis, Daniel Otis, and George Otis. But Robert, William, and George Otis grew-up and married, so they weren't buried here. However, young Daniel Otis ended up in the family plot, and so did William Otis' infant son, Lewie Otis.)
#40—empty
#41—Daniel H. Otis (This plot is where I found Daniel's footstone set into the ground when I arrived in Middletown in 2019, and where I found Lewie Otis' gravestone, set backwards, and propped-up with two rocks, all willy-nilly. This is also the same plot where in August 2021, we uncovered the adult-sized, brownstone base with remnant gravestone chunks in it.)
#42—Lewie Otis
Because Frank Starr most-likely had a plot plan, the above order is how he recorded it in the 1870’s, and this is the order it was returned to in 2021, with the resetting of Daniel’s gravestone to his proper burial site—plot #41—which was the SAME SPOT that Frank Starr counted Daniel Otis at in the 1870’s, and the SAME SPOT that we found the adult-sized base with all those broken gravestone chunks in. The SAME CHUNKS that match up to the broken and jagged bottom of Daniel Otis’ gravestone!
All of this (the original placement of Daniel’s footstone, the perfectly matching broken-chunks of gravestone in the base, and the Frank Starr numbers) prove that the “1997 reset site” by “SO-AND-SO,” was not where Daniel Otis' remains were.
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| From left to right: #36 Elizabeth M. Otis, #37 Erastus S. Otis, #38 Empty, #39 Empty, #40 Empty, #41 Daniel H. Otis, and #42 Lewie Otis. Photo from December, 2020. In this photo, the gravestones of Daniel and Lewie are restored to their proper burial sites. Open the photo for a larger view. |
And yes, three burial plots CAN fit in between Erastus Otis and Daniel Otis. In the same cemetery, I measured the length of the burial plots who have three family members buried side-by-side, and all the lengths are darn near close to the length of the three empty Otis plots (#38 thru #40). For example, in the picture above, notice the red arrow in the background. These are the graves of James Smith and his wife and son—a group of three plots. Those three plots of the Smith family would fit perfectly in the empty Otis plots (#38 thru #40)!
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| Here is a straight-on view of the Otis Family Plot, from behind the graves. Notice the empty plots between Daniel Otis (left) and Erastus Otis (right). Also, the tree was finally cut that literally drove a wedge between the graves of Erastus and his wife, Elizabeth! We have since reset their graves, and unfortunately further apart than they originally would have been because of that blasted tree (now a stump)! |
So, all of the above is how we arrived at the fact that the gravestone of Daniel H. Otis was reset not at his original burial site in 1997, but instead, three plots away. We are still not sure how this error could have occurred, and probably never will.
My husband had left “SO-AND-SO” a voice mail on August 15, 2021, and again on August 18, explaining who he was, the situation at-hand, and how we were hoping to get some insight about the resetting of Daniel Otis' gravestone back in 1997. “SO-AND-SO” never called back, so I snail-mailed them a friendly letter, giving them a full and respectful explanation (along with photographic proof) of why we had reached out to them.
"SO-AND-SO" snail-mailed me back, which would have been my second snail-mail correspondence from them. This time around, they were not very happy. The envelope had no return address on it (the first one did). Also the letter inside was quickly hand-scribbled (the first one was nicely typed). They did not include a salutation in the letter, nor did they sign it (the first letter they did).
Within the letter they said, “I refer you to those two photos [the photos they previously sent me of Daniel’s broken and reset grave], the ones showing Otis’ grave marker lying on the ground and the other of his reseated [sic] stone.” They go on to claim that, “The Company I contracted with did not ‘move’ the Otis marker, but simply lifted from the ground and positioned on that site from which it had fallen.”
Uh, huh.
What I explained and shared here, dear reader, is basically what I offered up to "SO-AND-SO." Why they were so irritated with these findings, is beyond me! Despite all the evidence we shared with them, "SO-AND-SO," still insisted that because Daniel's gravestone "was in perfect alignment with the other Otis grave markers, authenticating for all of us that here was Daniel's final resting place."
Is "SO-AND-SO" for real? That is how they determined where a veteran soldier's final resting place was: because his gravestone was "in perfect alignment" with the other graves around it? Seriously?
So let me get this straight: "SO-AND-SO" was presented with proof that Daniel's final resting place was actually in another spot, and not the spot they reset the gravestone at in 1997. Yet, "SO-AND-SO" continues to hold fast to the fallacy that Daniel's final resting place was where they had the gravestone reset in 1997, all because they claim that Daniel's gravestone was "in perfect alignment with the other Otis grave markers?" Am I understanding this correctly? Surely, "SO-AND-SO" must be joking when they said that it was "alignment" that authenticated that they had found Daniel's "final resting place."
Put the brakes on for a second. First, there were no other Otis markers to align with! The Erastus Otis marker was broken in half and laying against a tree, tarnished deep-black with biological growth. Only part of the Elizabeth Otis marker was there, and lying against a tree, also tarnished black. The top half of her marker was missing—which was the part with her name on it! The missing half was found under 9-inches of sod and soil by myself and another conservationist, in 2019. But at the time, even if there were other upright markers to align with, that is how "SO-AND-SO" confirms the final resting place of a veteran soldier: based on alignment? Second, the ironic thing is that Daniel's gravestone is currently at the correct burial site (reset by myself and my husband), and it's STILL in "alignment" with the other Otis family grave markers, which my husband and I have also reset. So I don’t really see how "SO-AND-SO" can claim that "alignment" was the "magic bullet" to authenticating Daniel's final resting place!
"SO-AND-SO" closed their letter to me by stating that they were busy, and that they have "neither the inclination nor time to deal with something like this.”
Wow!
They don't have time to deal with "something like this?"
I don't like the dismissive and haughty way “SO-AND-SO” dealt with, not only the situation, but also with Daniel Otis—the young combat-veteran that they at one-time honored and wrote a few sentences about in their publication. This entire situation is utterly distasteful, and it rubs me the wrong way. Out of kindness and respect for what "SO-AND-SO" tried to accomplish for Daniel Otis in 1997, we thought they should be made aware that we discovered a discrepancy with the setting of Daniel’s gravestone (with evidence, no less), but THIS is how "SO-AND-SO" chose to deal with the situation! On to the next war-hero, I guess.
My husband and I were just hoping to get some insight on what occurred the day "SO-AND-SO" had Daniel's gravestone reset, and how it ended up where it did for the last 24 years. But, "SO-AND-SO" doesn't want to deal with "something like this." Fine by me. Too many hands in the soup-pot, spoil the soup anyway.
But honestly, with all that said, I’m not really sure it makes a difference where “SO-AND-SO” found Daniel’s gravestone. Let’s just go with what “SO-AND-SO” claims: that the company they contracted with “did not ‘move’ the Otis marker, but simply lifted from the ground and positioned on that site from which it had fallen.”
I say: so what?
That STILL doesn’t make the spot they had Daniel’s gravestone set at, the correct burial site! Just because a person finds a gravestone laying in a certain spot—doesn’t mean that’s the spot it belongs!
A person really needs to sleuth out a situation a little better than claiming: “Well, that’s the spot I found it, so that’s the spot I put it!” Come on! Nobody noticed that Daniel’s footstone was set in the ground three plots down to the right? Nobody was like, “Gee, I wonder if this is really the right spot? Let’s look into this a little further.” Nope. Instead, "SO-AND-SO's" claim was basically: "That’s where we found it, and it aligned, so that’s where we put it." Alignment. I'll try to remember that one.
That’s really sad, and irresponsible.
And by the way, nobody “simply lifted” anything “from the ground.” There is NOTHING simple about cemetery restoration. Just like that, we simply lifted it, and positioned it. Light as a feather. So easy. Look at it go...
Oh, please!
We don’t know what happened with the resetting of Daniel’s gravestone in 1997. But what we do know is that a person’s gravestone should never be moved from the original burial site for strictly aesthetic reasons—because we think it looks better somewhere else, or because we feel the family should be “kept together.” It’s unethical, as well as a dishonor to the deceased individual, and frankly, it’s not our right! The only reason to move a gravestone from its original burial site would be if the site is no longer useable for whatever reason, or if the gravestone is in danger of being destroyed. Even then, it’s something to consider thoughtfully and carefully! None of this was the case with the gravestone of Daniel H. Otis, so why it ended up being set three plots down from his burial site, I cannot answer. Perhaps nobody can, or will.
Now, the beautiful marble gravestone of Daniel H. Otis is back where it belongs: at his original burial site, marking his remains.
Kimberly A. Hayden
August 26, 2021—Middletown, Connecticut
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| The gravestone of Daniel H. Otis, standing straight and tall at his proper burial site. His footstone is back here too! |
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| The gravestone of baby Lewie Otis standing straight and tall at his proper burial site. Notice the tiny, child-sized base. This is the base we uncovered at this site, beneath the ground. |
